Fuck You and Fuck Your Gun Obsession

Fuck You and Fuck Your Gun Obsession

I genuinely don’t know which direction to take my rage about America’s obsession with guns.

Yes, rage.

I’m beyond being disappointed, sad, or hopeless. I’m beyond angry. I have genuine hatred for the people and politicians who put their disgusting “need” to own killing machines ahead of anyone else’s desire to, you know, stay alive.

Owning guns is my god given right!

Oh, they’ll tell you, this country guarantees them the right to own guns and this country was founded by infallible freedom men who were apparently being spoken to directly by the Christian god (the one who had a relatively short list of rules, one of which was don’t fucking kill people). What they always fail to mention is the “regulated militia” portion of the second fucking amendment. That means two things to me.

First, it means, historically and factually speaking, the government wanted people to have guns because the government did not have an actual military at the time. The citizens were the military back in the good old days of freedom, liberty, and owning black people as property (apparently another god given right).

I imagine it like this:

First Infallible Founding Father: Zounds! The subhuman slaves are becoming restless and we will need to put down a rebellion!

Second Infallible Founding Father (wrapping up a nice rape sesh with a slave): Tell Merle to use his own guns to handle it, we don’t have any sort of organized group to send to aid him.

Second, those pesky words, regulated militia. To regulate something, for any ammosexuals who may be having this read to them, means to ensure something meets a set of standards in order to meet a desired level of performance. I’d be willing to bet any performance goals of this militia of gun owners in the year 2018 will require them to be able to see their own toes, which means a lot of gun owners are not actually abiding by the amendment. Give me ten pull ups in a minute and you can apply for a gun license. Consider this my first suggested gun control measure.

*gets shot*


*gurgles blood*

*dies, but was technically right*

Now, we move to the pedantry. Immediately after the Florida shooting, reports were stating this was the eighteenth mass shooting in 2018, which isn’t even two short months old (with one of those months being the shortest on the calendar). Now, facts do matter. Always. There may have only been seventeen, and maybe fewer than ten of those involved an active shooter wandering the halls of an elementary school or high school trying to murder several people. Others involved “accidental discharge of a weapon,” which will totally sooth a grieving parent watching their child bleed out. Apparently, the point trying to be made is that lower number of people trying to murder children and teachers is acceptable.

That’s a bad look.

I really wish one mass shooting incident was enough to give people pause, but here we are.

I’m not here to give a list of suggestions other than this country needs to look at itself in the mirror and openly admit it’s not the “good guy with a gun,” because a good guy would give a shit about dead kids. The problem in America is guns and the obsession many have with them. They’ve watched too many movies where the good guy (always white) picks up a gun and saves the day. That simply doesn’t happen in any sort of measurable and observable way, and conservative policing and military groups say people with guns trying to stop people with guns makes it nearly impossible to figure out who the actual target should be.

But, those are facts, and facts are now debatable in our society.

Guns are more important than anything except for more guns.

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