Loving Ted Nugent, Pre-Teen Girls, and Hating Middle Easterners

Loving Ted Nugent, Pre-Teen Girls, and Hating Middle Easterners

People seem to forget about Pele Massa when discussing right wing icon Ted Nugent.

Ted loves his guns and hates his black presidents, so many in the Fox News bubble love his outspokeness and “controversial” opinions (things we used to report as simply racist). He also loves shitting himself and taking drugs to avoid going to war, but that’s a different story for a different day.

What many overlook is the predatory and Buffalo Bill (from Silence of the Lambs, not American history) level creepiness of his relationship with Massa. They met in 1978 when he was 30 and she was 17, and it was literally illegal to have sex with her. That didn’t stop quick thinking Ted, who convinced her parents (also apparently awful people) to make him her legal guardian, so they could live together and he could sexually disappoint her without too much interference from the police he now loves so much.

He was also married at the time.

But hey, that’s all cool to the right wingnuts, because he’s “one of us,” right? Plus, that happened a long time ago. Things change. Ted likely hasn’t purposely shit himself since he became too old for the draft.

Much more recently, on the other side of the world, this picture was taken of a mass wedding sanctioned by Hamas, and many were disgusted by the sight of these very young child brides…

… except that’s not what this picture is. These girls are the equivalent to Western culture’s junior bridesmaid, but why let facts get in the way of hating more brown people? I mean, someone’s racist grandma shared the picture on Facebook right after her picture stating she stands for the Anthem, so it’s probably true, and even if it’s not, IN MY OPINION it happens anyway so the point still stands, right? Plus, it’d never happen in America.

Well, fuck me.

In the last few weeks, two deeply red states, Kentucky and Tennessee, have hedged a bit on creating laws protecting children from being married off to older men. After a few days in the national spotlight, Kentucky relented, but not without strong dissent from some senators.
“I as a parent couldn’t let my pregnant 16-year-old daughter marry the guy that loves her, give the baby a name?” Senator Dan Seum screeched, likely while holding a Bible.

Now, I am not a lawyer, but I’m unaware of any laws that prevent non-married people from consulting on names. I’m also aware that anyone who starts a statement with “as a parent” is a stain on humanity and shouldn’t be listened to in nearly all cases.

Plus, I’m relatively certain 16-year-olds don’t really know much about this sort of thing.

Tennessee, apparently trying to take some sort of embarrassment mantle from Kentucky, has delayed a vote on a similar bill. Tennessee Sen. Mark Pody noted the bill would have prevented him from marrying his current wife. A non-profit consulted on the bill has shown three recent cases of a 10-year-old girl marrying an adult man in Tennessee.


The same Senate did find time to pass a bill banning people under the age of 16 from using a tanning bed, so hopefully these men don’t mind some pasty brides.

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