Makeup Compliments: OFF LIMITS

Makeup Compliments: OFF LIMITS

I didn’t watch the White House Correspondents’ Dinner live because I never do. I rely on other people to suffer through the drudgery of self-important assholes congratulating themselves on how awesome they are and let me know (with a time stamped video) what few seconds to watch. Like when Obama destroyed Trump.

It’s like the Oscars, but for politicians and reporters who act like they haven’t been doing a really, really shitty job for the past several years. Michelle Wolf was the host this year and the universe imploded because she was mean. For those of you who don’t know, the purpose of Wolf’s role is to roast the attendees. Roasts are mean. These people hire a comedian to say some mean things about some people, then laugh and go home to their mansions and think up more ways to cut taxes for themselves.

The self-righteous hypocrites on the right immediately vomited up all kinds of sanctimonious horseshit over the following comments on Sarah Huckabee Sanders:

“I think she’s very resourceful. But she burns facts and then she uses that ash to create a perfect smokey eye. Like maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s lies. It’s probably lies.”

She then compared her to a character from The Handmaid’s Tale, a book I tried really hard to get into but had to stop because it is boooooooring. This character is a woman working for the patriarchy and basically selling out all women. So, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Critics of Wolf’s routine jumped all over this because they (conservatives) find the actress unattractive and aren’t smart enough to realize it wasn’t a physical comparison. So, they (again, conservatives) body shamed the actress and said she is ugly, exactly what they (you know who) are accusing Wolf of doing to Sanders.

This is why there are no funny conservatives. They miss the point like conservative men miss their girlfriend’s abortion appointment while they vote to defund Planned Parenthood. She made fun of her makeup. She didn’t make fun of her mismatched eyes or the fact that she looks like her disgusting father in drag. Those jokes are left to hack comedians.

Oops.

Side note: Her brother brutally killed a dog and Mike Huckabee made sure he wasn’t punished. The entire family is truly living in Jesus’s footsteps, as they remind us daily.

Side side note: Reminding Mike Huckabee of this incident on Twitter earned me this badge of honor:

This is hypocrisy at its finest, and the press is going right along with it. Again, if she made fun of Sanders’s physical appearance, I’d feel differently. It’s cheap, and liberals should be above that. This is fake outrage coming from people who called Barack Obama a monkey from Kenya and his wife a man. Chelsea Clinton was called a dog. There was no outrage then. No apologies requested, no pointless dinners cancelled.

So, right wingers and its supportive media, kindly fuck off with your bullshit.

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