Pre-State of the Union

Pre-State of the Union

BREAKING NEWS: The state of the union is strong, because that’s what every fucking president says, regardless of the truth. The difference this year, when we inevitably hear “and God bless America” at the end, it’ll be an accused rapist, sexual assaulter, grifter, open racist saying these things.

Literally every economic “triumph” that will ben read out loud is due to that black guy, not the orange one reading the teleprompter (which used to be a bad thing, for some reason)… and this would be the case for any president giving his or her (but really only his, because America) first State of the Union. All of the economic proposals tonight will have zero positive impact on Trump’s base (except for the ultra rich), but they’ll cheer anyway, because now we get to say the n-word during job interviews and in their churches, and isn’t that what the founding fathers wanted?

Actually, don’t answer that, they probably did.

The media will likely be attacked during the speech, a sad first, as they are by the president every day. That same media will very briefly report on it. What happens next is going to be the worst part:

Certain reporters in the media will start saying Trump was presidential and questioning if this speech signaled a return to normalcy. These idiots won’t be from Fox News, who likely helped write the speech, so their reviews of it could have been written days ago. They’ll say this because Trump can read a speech without mentioning eugenics or actually sexually assaulting someone during his time on tv.

These are odd times in America, when our svelte, 239 pound, 6’6″ president with 4% body fat and a nine inch flaccid penis is rewarded by behaving only slightly better than I expect of my 9-year-old son. I strongly advise against any sort of “funny” drinking games, because your votes are needed later this year.

So, sit back, relax, and Thor bless PropCulture.

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