President Baby Hands and His Would’ves

President Baby Hands and His Would’ves

From the Associated Press, on February 26 at 11:15 a.m.

President Donald Trump is telling the nation’s governors that he would have run into the deadly Florida high school shooting “even if I didn’t have a weapon.”

That’s interesting, since he could have run into Vietnam five different times, with weapons, but decided to make up excuses.

Let’s imagine what else President Trump would have done.

  1. Returned Ferris Bueller to school by first period.
  2. Gotten full Avenger buy-in on the Sokovia Accords.
  3. Managed the Cleveland Browns to a perfect 19-0 season.
  4. Time traveled and prevented the Reagan shooting, thus preventing the Brady Bill.
  5. Totally banged all the hottest chicks.
  6. Palmed a regulation sized baseball.
  7. Had the most luscious hair that’s absolutely not combed over.
  8. Won the Nobel Prize for Best Words.
  9. Not colluded treasonously with Russia to steal an election.
  10. Not embarrassed the United States to the point it may not be able to recover its reputation.

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