From the Associated Press, on February 26 at 11:15 a.m.
President Donald Trump is telling the nation’s governors that he would have run into the deadly Florida high school shooting “even if I didn’t have a weapon.”
That’s interesting, since he could have run into Vietnam five different times, with weapons, but decided to make up excuses.
Let’s imagine what else President Trump would have done.
- Returned Ferris Bueller to school by first period.
- Gotten full Avenger buy-in on the Sokovia Accords.
- Managed the Cleveland Browns to a perfect 19-0 season.
- Time traveled and prevented the Reagan shooting, thus preventing the Brady Bill.
- Totally banged all the hottest chicks.
- Palmed a regulation sized baseball.
- Had the most luscious hair that’s absolutely not combed over.
- Won the Nobel Prize for Best Words.
- Not colluded treasonously with Russia to steal an election.
- Not embarrassed the United States to the point it may not be able to recover its reputation.